| Carry On. |
[May. 11th, 2009 and 05:01 am] |
feel this;
never have i ever explained the perfect circles
of skin, talking to the rise of this memory.
and they had the center of interest, i flooded
my face slowly.
i thought i felt your scars.
those fingers untouched, and arms i tasted,
your eyes i thought i could see through, and tell myself
that i don't need the feelings, you and me,
we are just starting. she
is on me, she does not bother with me.
but oh, but oh, does she love, does she have, so much?
on her back is the word, she holds so far front of her.
i am high, and whenever i am i know what my body is trying to
tell me. my lip is the only thing i feel,
i want you, god, may 30. i want to straddle you,
i want to be high and i want to fucking do it.
i will MELT into you. i am so fucking ready for it.
this climax. god SUMMER, i'm here, SO here, now.
SO here now.
WHAT, CAN, I, DO?
i'm disconnecting.
i'm there. i feel everything
in that touch. i feel anything, in the
words. |
|
|
| Suck My Dick. |
[Mar. 8th, 2009 and 07:19 am] |
| [ | head |
| |  enthralled | ] |
when you laugh, they say you just fucking gain so much more.
like god, "NOW you call," yeah, okay, whatever.
look, darling. it's been a mind game i still play so
fuckin well. you're mistaking calluses of experience
for bruises and cuts of naivety.
imagine if i was a dude hittin' cats from the back
with no strings attached, yea, picture that
i hear her footsteps.
7:52AM back to reality of head spins and candied pills.
i think i like it, this new hold i got.
we glow. and i have been doing a little more each hour.
phone's ringing, again.
the ink all over my neck.
moral of the story:
no one ever gave a shit about this. so i refuse.
i just have so many webs. spinning 'round, got you. |
|
|
| how to be in love. |
[Dec. 4th, 2008 and 06:36 am] |
| [ | head |
| |  numb | ] |
| [ | heart |
| | across the universe... | ] |
please do not tell her what i mean when i say
i miss my tash.
today i was asked if one of my options was lost,
i really worked today to clear the walls rightly, justly.
if i'm going to do this i won't do it half assed.
i won't have a chance to revert.
but anyway, i was asked if one of my options was gone,
i made a phone call and she didn't pick up.
she called back five minutes later, and like usual we
had a sexually charged, tense conversation.
i asked her one of those questions.
the same kind she asked me i can't remember when,
and when i told her the answer
her eyes widened with curiosity and surprise.
i know what clicked in her mind that day.
and though she couldn't see my face, she knew what
clicked in mine too.
i got nervous.
(i don't know what it is, really)
--
and i can have conversations over and over
at five in the morning every night
about how sad i might be...
but am i really sinking? or watching
another part of me sink?
i'm turning my head on this. sorry. |
|
|
| cracked |
[Dec. 2nd, 2008 and 07:52 pm] |
| [ | head |
| |  devious | ] |
| [ | heart |
| | decemberists - Record Year. | ] |
just fuckin watch me.
(holy shit everything just changed...) |
|
|
| welcome back, baby. |
[Dec. 1st, 2008 and 01:48 am] |
| [ | head |
| |  high | ] |
| [ | heart |
| | daysleepers | ] |
so here i go. i'm coming into this pleasantly numb
and medicated. it's nice.
already i am reminded of this beautiful side of myself
i completely forgot.
it was never monstrous, but always moving.
grains.
mmh. i'm gonna make a move.
i'm gonna go ahead. i feel so
comfortable in this amanda.
it's like i left off some place.
yes, i remember you.
numb, beautiful you.
take what you have.
;)
let the games begin
i would like to be fucked right now
=) |
|
|
| under the boards |
[Nov. 28th, 2008 and 04:12 am] |
| [ | heart |
| | Saves the Day. (celibacy?) | ] |
i miss my heart racing yours.
my face feeling so bright and strained,
making our own weather.
i'd be pinned down into something
with my skin shivering with a feeling.
and we always knew it was desire but...
i think i can do that,
lets play. |
|
|
| you know what |
[Nov. 24th, 2008 and 07:12 am] |
i just want to rant a little bit.
i put up with so much shit and
i am always the fucking bad guy.
even though:
- i'm always backed into corners where it's either a. i get to be with her but i have rules and i have to be considerate about *That Other Person* OR b. i'm ruining the moment and i need to "get over it."
- i'm blind sighted with most decisions made behind my back
- i am never really the one to make any true decision
- it always has to be the most convenient thing for her
- i can't ever make rules
- half the time i am not treated like a girlfriend *correction, LOVER
- words, words, fucking words, all fucking day but rarely any action... any proof
- "vent to me" and as soon as i do i get a nasty bark back
- she tells me she loves me but is completely dating someone else
- i force myself to forget about everything up there that makes me angry just to have a half hour with her so that i won't have regrets about it.
great.
and this all, this whole fucking list, started with me being resentful about not being able to have A KISS.
honestly, i would give up having fucking sex for a kiss. a goddamned kiss.
and now i'm crying.
(if you were smart you'd ignore this until after break) |
|
|
| she left this morning |
[Nov. 24th, 2008 and 06:49 am] |
you were my disguise.
really, what it is,
somewhere in me i have cravings for stability.
nature always evens itself out eventually,
the nature of this huge mistake i've made
evening itself out.
karmically, i know exactly what this means.
it's a kind of red and black, a magma type feeling.
i would let it seep on out, scorching my
muscles and blistering my skin, callusing
my character.
i wonder if she noticed it.
i'm afraid you didn't understand but you
always try to emotionally kill the air.
and then
it's like a set path, really.
i'm going to get uglier as the days go on
and that's all.
sure, i have hope, and sure
i am probably just fucking stupid.
my mother told me, on the phone,
to just drop it and move on,
but be "professional."
and all i really got out of that was
that i am embarrassed to try and explain us (us? what are we?)
to even her. my own mother.
and when you come by i'm not there.
you were next to my bed in a chair, and
wanted to leave a mark on my walls
(frankly i just wanted you to leave). so
i'll know you were there, trying to catch my soul,
extract my thoughts from my body,
something you could never fish out of me
(how ironic that is).
and then you realized my window sill, and
put everything else in the trash.
amanda casale, official idiot of the year.
olympiad of naivety. a dimwitted blockhead.
blind,
and fooled.
thanks, 2008.
it was real nice of you
(was that abusive). |
|
|
| dazed |
[Nov. 20th, 2008 and 01:11 pm] |
| [ | head |
| | blank | ] |
| [ | heart |
| | azure ray, yes. | ] |
they told me to rip open my skin and take apart my insides.
but my insides feel like knives and i've had so many promises
that i could have really moved so bladefully, rightfully swift.
a sharp, yet faint proclamation. i could have moved.
i saw the eyes of hope, a notice, this other being,
but i stopped where i could take my insides and chop it up,
cut the wire, stop the flow. i took it as far as
my feelings could.
unless they didn't.
and all of those, which didn't stop,
turned out to haunt my worst nightmares and
attempt to take over in the guise of comfort.
all of those which stopped with me,
i
could
have kept going.
and that scares me,
it's not really that i could have
it's that i probably needed to.
and that which is my heart,
i could have been seeing such different away messages
such different concerns,
and my life will swirl around these.
even still, i feel my arm around
a waist, walking fast down court street
with a tearful girl. and now look at me,
i feel like i don't know
what i want.
(they say we just know what we
are supposed to want.)
so
if you want it
then take it.
"how are you two doing?"
let's keep changing the subject
because i'm better at these things. |
|
|
| together |
[Nov. 17th, 2008 and 08:28 am] |
| [ | head |
| |  depressed | ] |
beauty
in the
breakdown?
(is this healthy) |
|
|
| fall, or...? |
[Nov. 9th, 2008 and 02:42 am] |
| [ | head |
| | awake | ] |
| [ | heart |
| | maria taylor. | ] |
i'd be proud too if my name was on someone's hip.
there's something about this bed that makes my eyes water
and my guts kind of shrink up.
i SHOULD be tired right now, it's late
and my bed time never really gets much later than 11.
hm.
what a sad machine.
lights - at midnight
---
i don't know much about art shows,
or museums, or artists in general,
but i do know that when you want to have
an exhibition, you're judged if you don't have a
specific theme.
so you can't just throw together your cumulative lifetime
supply of whatever you've painted or shot or
pasted together that once made you feel something
or relay something. using your hands to maybe show someone,
maybe having someone watch and exhibit themselves.
and no one really understands that
everyone has a theme inside, really.
it goes deeper than the symbols on a canvas, i'm sorry.
(there's so much time)
so i'm thinking.
and i do have a theme. i have to.
someone told me something yesterday, and it's been
reverberating through my soul, beaming through my thoughts.
whether that will continue and rattle my future or
just take me under (take me under...)
i don't care, but it sent me through all sorts of high.
(i will wait for you)
my theme... my controlling idea.
it's always been this way. there's always been something wrong
because it wasn't that way. and when it is, i'll
sit there secretly knowing it.
like a judge with a quizzical face
making suggestions as to how "experienced" this artist is
and parades around masquerading the knowledge that
this artist isn't only an artist with a prejudice superego...
i hate to say, that me at a desk
frantically checking my phone and never turning my head
you know, even when i could have exploded,
it was there.
and when i saw it, i knew.
and i felt something i didn't even see
or could ever understand.
Autumn's bounty.
mand |
|
|
| strength |
[Nov. 2nd, 2008 and 11:33 am] |
this morning i woke up and knew. i felt it in the bones
that arouse me, stimulate my mind and wake me.
this morning, i saw things between my eyes and eyelids.
i met people with different smiles, and people who
know they've been confused and tired.
i call myself a social drunk. and i went to a party
last night, it wasn't a frat party but i could tell you
what kind of party it was, if you'd ask.
and i knew who i was, standing there, smirking.
not saying a word to anyone. listening to the music in my mind.
and all the souls i've touched since i've been here
have been horribly inadequate and i've been distracted.
so last night, drunkenly distracted, pulling around with
the music and the fact that a love has my head.
i reigned the party, and knew it. and paid no mind.
i have maps in my head sometimes, without lines or
direction really. and when i have conversations i bring
out the areas of it. i know which way is north
and which way is south, i could point a finger and literally
show you. but we tend to forget those. the same
fingers i use to make circles of density for it,
and the same fingers i use to explain the dark circles
around my eyes finally evaporating into the dusk,
into the dark gaseous atmosphere of red waves
taking over this place. my fault.
the other night, i introduced myself as,
"amanda casale: the best thing to ever happen to you."
and of course, i wouldn't mean it, but
when you come across like that, it's what comes to you
and now i have more people and the
integrity that can kill the strongest animals.
i walked to newton alone today.
and i'm walking to brunch alone today.
(but wait for it) |
|
|
| theres an unfamiliar name in |
[Oct. 28th, 2008 and 01:30 am] |
| [ | head |
| | depressed | ] |
my buddy list tonight.
i want amanda. i want me. i want amanda back. i need to get with it.
i am tired of this...
i will sleep... now...
(let it be known that i do love) |
|
|
| split lips |
[Oct. 23rd, 2008 and 09:10 pm] |
sometimes i have hope in it, really.
but i couldn't ever see it happen, really. |
|
|
| have a look |
[Oct. 21st, 2008 and 12:54 pm] |
| [ | head |
| | cold | ] |
thoughts, the same thing can be said for (most things i've heard [about]) you.
they used to call it "Nintendo Thumbs" but now that's
inappropriate. the world as we know it.
i'd like to think of something i can say to
just throw someone off. i say things and people get
dumbfounded but i've never physically knocked someone off balance
with my words.
and i think i have something brewing.
i have a lot brewing, actually. but that's what the big problem is.
so much brewing. nothing to really eat.
it's cold here in geneseo.
-'manda
PS
i know a lot of things. and specifically i know what is said
when the question is asked and/or the answer is given.
it's such an attack to my confidence.
so i'll leave it untouched and tearing.
let me sleep! |
|
|
| blur |
[Oct. 20th, 2008 and 05:08 am] |
| [ | head |
| | just fucking EXHAUSTED | ] |
i can't fucking sleep and i can't deal with it anymore.
i've literally been awake for the past 48 hours.
i fucking hate this shit.
i seriously want to violently remove everyone from the world that snores. |
|
|
| you |
[Oct. 19th, 2008 and 06:42 pm] |
i'll say that this all means what i painted in my mind.
i have a vision of this vital situation. and
everyday it's getting worse, pulling and screaming.
we said, fuck the longer rope,
and cut our middle of a second to examine
the shortest distance and time.
and yes, i'm tired. |
|
|
| me |
[Oct. 19th, 2008 and 04:04 am] |
i'm dead ass drunk and i just felt like wrirting
in something blank. my throat is burning and i had
hypnotiq for the first time in my life today, and they
told me it's like wine. it cetainly went down like wine.
but i'm done for the night.
at least, i hope so. as long as i can fall
asleep to my stupid roommate and her best friend snoring like
wild animals.
i am so fucking drunk how the fuck did i just tupe that. |
|
|
| a crisp night |
[Oct. 15th, 2008 and 08:14 pm] |
| [ | heart |
| | islands - in the rushes | ] |
there's a hallway connecting wadsworth and welles
that, on wednesdays, i pass through to get to sociology.
and nobody else really does. it's my favorite
hallway on campus.
and i want to kiss someone who is shorter than me
inside of that hallway.
a real kiss. |
|
|
| a whole volume; |
[Oct. 12th, 2008 and 01:52 am] |
| [ | heart |
| | copeland - should you return | ] |
never feel good or bad
only strange and unprepared
i think i set myself up for it,
the dozens of nights twitching in chill and freedom
watching the night roll into a hill.
the dark trace of solitude, i swore
the reasons i had, to pick and choose, and love,
had nothing to do with it.
and for once they did not, yet kept my head above
a water so deep.
when in fact, i needed to drown to palm myself
back to life.
of course she wouldn't know that. or how that is.
the funny things, that trains mean,
the sound of the train as i am cross-legged
in a friend's driveway. "that one."
and i can never break myself.
when it happens, the shatter is heard
but the time stops, and shakes the bones
so hard, until a numbing cold takes over.
i sat the same way in the shower, with
the scorching water ripping apart my skin
and screaming at me. just a few minutes ago.
when we want to be happy we
can't say much anymore.
so i'm here, now, waiting,
like my whole life waiting.
and she says,
"but whatever," with a smile.
and my future - the hope i had and the
strength i forced through miles of running,
sweat of force, lovely pain,
sharp and consistent pangs of
restless stabs -
the light melted before the goosebumps on
my arm, cleverly hidden.
of course i wouldn't look her in the eye.
and tenses will change, and motives will
reshape, the scars,
there for the world to question.
when does it get to the point
where a lie takes a life?
where a lie gets granted a heart,
a brain, and the nerve.
the lie grows arms and legs, and rushes
through the ruck, plows into my life and
takes my heart to run with it.
i carried my head up, my eyes soullessly following,
and saw my face, eyes lifeless as ever,
and a face just fit for the enthusiastic
exhaustion taking place in just a few hours.
would anyone like to know the truth?
or is that absolutely out of the question.
i have had conversations blasting my mind out of its
place, to confess to these new, alien strangers
how my heart is not heard, and
how my hands shake with indifference to a
hill.
I Can't Believe. but i can,
of course. we always say it but we
can always believe it.
and on that night, they took my clothes,
left with them forever.
and on that night i sat staring at the lights,
remember that one night,
with my best friend by my side, as my pupils
linked themselves with the fluorine,
an axis about to break from an overload.
i sat staring, enlightened.
and this night, this recent night in the same
situation, with my friends in the other room
sleeping.
make it hurt,
make this dim light
burn out. give it one last kiss and
let it weep alone.
i convince myself
the road home is never long.
someone remarkably close to me
yet so drastically far, planted
that seed into the folds years and years ago.
so let, me, go home.
goodbye, finally
(stupid and moving) amanda |
|
|
| freak me out |
[Oct. 7th, 2008 and 03:18 am] |
look where i've put my arms now, how i've picketed them
around, and delivered messages to colors and coats.
the chill has gotten significantly worse, and the bus driver,
what he has to say about that is, "i keep the heat off
to keep the drunks clean."
what is it about the heat that keeps us intoxicated?
but i'll make it a point to say there's a skyline so crisp,
even while my eyes try to focus on the farthest thing it can see,
and fail, and just a step out of this room
to see the sun and feel the air i felt just a year ago, today.
to remember this unlikely situation, i forced my
pieces into a sandy reminder.
i could only picture the face, laughing or furrowed
in contempt, as usual. without the heat, and without the
familiar comfort. i was coughing and watching.
i said a word and saw red. i taught myself how to
show it. show the ends and the creations. i make it my best
interest to quietly consume my new self, something
these people would never understand.
i made it my obligation to show without submerging
capes and masks into fluorescent light.
and as she waited in a small room, for something true
and something heavenly, like a pang of freedom,
and maybe something that was not carrying
the air that was not once in her lungs.
but of course, we all take these new things
with a curiosity so broad and undeserving. if we could
renew it again, i couldn't, just because
subconsciously i would have the option of just
fast forwarding my life, and the thrill of how
a barely immaculate sphere brings us around to
that darkness so fucking wild and late.
its richness still haunts me, as it filled my pockets
and took over my joints.
but it shut me up, and out.
i might have done some things, and i might have not.
i might have met someone accidentally at a scene
and made way for its advantageous secrets.
but a whole chunk of my life is missing, now.
when i was in tenth grade i took a history text book
that wasn't signed to me, to borrow for an in-class assignment.
and i ended up taking it home accidentally.
and i wrote in the seams, what i felt and things i held.
i filled the covers with me, my ambiguous thoughts
cradled and sewn together like the very pages, but
organized like my mind. touching different directions and times
and thoughts.
i don't remember what i wrote about, but i have an idea
it was the premonition to the rest of my life. because
i put it back in the pile of textbooks. and never saw it again.
i chew on the fact that it is somewhere,
whether they understand it or not.
and that understanding will always give me shivers,
that i have that, and can even share that with another person,
share a love with another person, and a passion
with another person.
unintentionally? |
|
|
| still feeling all around |
[Oct. 2nd, 2008 and 12:42 am] |
| [ | head |
| | so cold... | ] |
| [ | heart |
| | freezepop | ] |
i remember exactly
the warmth and the feeling.
i remember the song.
i remember waiting
for months -
i cried my way through months
and crawled my way through heat.
i saved my skin for
something i could
never predict.
i choked and swayed
in the water and the
air.
i screamed for my lungs
and breathed because
i drenched myself in
a coating of confusion
and delirium.
i splayed numb unto my
pieces and
made it through.
and a subtle perfection
makes my face hot with
belonging.
i have pinpointed
the love i saved and
hid.
it was a deadly
sight. but
with a smile -
and "hello,"
ended it all.
"hello," to a blaze
out of control.
i never felt
so
perfect.
of course
i always
thought
of her.
i love
you.
i am
and that is all.
there is always
a
level.
i love you.
"everything
is
perfect
now." |
|
|
| Mess. |
[Sep. 30th, 2008 and 03:40 am] |
| [ | head |
| | hysterical | ] |
| [ | heart |
| | record year for rainfall | ] |
(i've resorted to this.)
i swim, now. look at me.
(a first time of sorts)
why ?
(it's four in the morning)
please don't let it,
take my place.
how could i watch it slip away.
(i need to take it)
no.
i have been cursed. |
|
|
| swamps and sweat |
[Sep. 29th, 2008 and 02:58 am] |
| [ | head |
| |  done | ] |
| [ | heart |
| | the gymnast | ] |
i hold it differently now, just because i have to.
the same thing i slammed unto my chest on my eighteenth birthday.
and as the rain spotted my bag, there was this humid
insulation capturing the weakness soon to be propped around the quad.
i wanted her to notice me stopping in the mud,
barefoot and overloaded, to gaze at these words like
maybe there's hope, when i had them before.
sometimes people keep walking.
i remember how inexperience feels on the lips, and
where was i, to every sense and touch.
this mechanical ... smile? sometimes i believe
that it wasn't there, and i made it up.
and i wish i knew how i dealt with it
as i lay on it, bones nursed and old.
instead i have hope for this new future, as questions arise and
the answers could be canceled out forever.
but, i smiled,
as deeply as i could smile, taking in
how smooth my hands felt, how perfect it looked,
out of the door and into my life.
if i could be as ecstatic as i was
i could get it through me, and take it over me.
and i will make every single truth in the world
welded to my arms and legs, until i walk with
an absolution so vast.
AND THERE I WAS,
the narrowness unfamiliar yet so intriguing, in each
and every single page. but one particularly, without explanation,
or reasonable cause, or anything pronounced,
but Fate!
i would have it ALL.
and i could take the deal, seal it and send it.
we will see.
i remembered some things for their reasons.
(take a seat on the couch.) |
|
|
| Nervous? |
[Sep. 23rd, 2008 and 02:18 am] |
| [ | heart |
| | the weepies - little bird | ] |
rewind to any moment you'd like
sit back, remember
i will always sit back with you
i'm not focused. for so many reasons.
no excuses, just reasons.
the one girl told me,
"you'll be the best."
i remember the way she was standing.
i could write forever if my thoughts
would just break out of my fingers...
they're really pushing at the seams. |
|
|
| tough word |
[Sep. 14th, 2008 and 09:58 pm] |
| [ | heart |
| | angels and angles | ] |
"i already feel the burning."
world, of course, as anyone else,
untidy as pallets and puzzles.
I am showing you. I have given you hints and
clues and time.
but There's a difference between knowing there's
a promise and knowing that there is something amanda
does to her hands and face.
i can tell you that all of these times
i have been sewing together hot frequencies of some
antiphysical explanation
while just lounging.
and there it goes, these fucking energies supplying fodder
for my cannon of a machine.
and i don't even take it. it's all around me, taking over.
i am showing.
there's so much in front of me i COULD just
play a note, sing a phrase and move it around.
and i would rather be wet on the grass, melting in the rain,
taking apart her voice to dry it out and putting it back together.
I can't believe that last part, and i could just be Sitting.
it's unbelievable. i was always just Sitting as it made my
cheeks hot and my arms limp with indifference.
Ha.
i Thought i could live like i would take the kiss or the touch
from these bandits.
but No, i have a heart and two hands.
well, rugby's got me alive. so fuck these hoes all over my cock... |
|
|
| hey; on livejournal |
[Sep. 8th, 2008 and 02:17 am] |
| [ | head |
| |  cheerful | ] |
livejournal is so sacred..
"and i feel a new love interest right in front of my eyes. can't see it."
^this is the first line i explored. the eighth of january, 2007.
believe that. i bet you can't.
but i was thinking about today,
if i would ever grow out of livejournal.
good one.
there's no reason to.
( cut for humiliation... )
ridiculous. but, look at the date on that..
( cut for further... ) |
|
|
| mandy |
[Sep. 7th, 2008 and 03:02 am] |
| [ | head |
| | crushed | ] |
| [ | heart |
| | anna ternheim - lover's dream | ] |
i remember the most i've cried in 24 hours before today.
and the route swooped by my face,
as i choked and killed in the passenger's seat.
this route was the opener and, though i'd been down that road
every single weekday during the school year,
from there i clung to the vehicles bringing me there.
-
my body has been going through
several stages of removal at this moment.
and as i wish it were a metaphysical removal,
i choke up once again.
my comfort, breached and excavated.
the concept of numbing oneself is
something i've understood since then, sophomore year.
things we cannot define, as youth embraces us,
eventually capture us. and there i was
feeling but not believing.
we all have those moments when our
life is simply a dream, like everything we believe in
can't even be a chip in this world.
every rock you take off the mountain
is still in the earth, somewhere...
at this point in my life - just now
i see my hands playing the phone
to not let it fly and break,
writing a long message
never to be sent,
grazing the guitar strings for an answer,
and sharing it with her answering machine.
(my fingers...)
my face is then digging into them.
here is to looking at everything objectively.
to get away, to let myself go, watch,
i shut off itunes. and in that instant
that itunes vanished, appeared her face.
not through my head, or memory,
but a picture in my background. of her face
on the fourth of july.
after the call,
ed says, "a-bear, i'm gonna lay in your bed with you."
as i'm fuming and frustrated,
"that's your girlfriend? she's
fucking hot. i bet you toss that shit around."
look at all that i've lost(?) in a few months.
it will never be the same.
-
bridges
at least the free tie-dye came out okay. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Sep. 7th, 2008 and 01:30 am] |
| [ | head |
| | depressed | ] |
fuck
everything. |
|
|
| i made the rock skip when you weren't looking |
[Sep. 5th, 2008 and 02:03 pm] |
| [ | heart |
| | the hawk is howling | ] |
i was walking back from free tie-dying,
courtesy of s stupid sorority,
this boy said,
"have you answered the question yet?"
and i was so intrigued.
i was just sleeping thirty minutes before that moment.
and i hadn't had a thing to eat all day,
i barely said words at all.
i looked down at my hands like they would have answers,
like they always have answers.
and they looked back up at me with the same expression.
and he said, "it's okay
you don't need to elaborate or really think about it."
(yes you do.)
after writing my answer he gave me a pamphlet
and told me to meet tonight at 7:30,
and discuss how people responded.
after this encounter, this
intellectual mind-fuck of an encounter,
i was so passionate about attending this meeting.
starting off my weekend with that thought.
i took the pamphlet without even reading it.
and when i got back to my dorm
after i opened my package and put down my tye-dyed shirt,
i read it.
and there it says,
boldface and centered,
"intervarsity"
(never have i been so physically disgusted.) |
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